Things Are Not Always As They Seem...

Kenny and I were at Saluda Shoals one day for the water play area they have there and it gives me a great chance to people watch. I love the overly loud people who make their business everyone else's business, or the parents that get all dramatic as if they're putting on a show. Since I can practically hear Kenny no matter where he is in the area given the fact that he screams like a banshee out of excitement, I can divulge a little bit and just let my eyes wander to the different people around. That's when I noticed a little boy crying whose was maybe 1 1/2. He was sitting all by himself on one of the benches and was completely adorable. I had been there long enough to know which kid went where so I noticed his family sitting on one of the picnic tables not far from him. But it was far enough away that at first glance you wondered if he had been left or something. My first instinct was to go up to him and squeeze his little fat cheeks and ask him what was wrong. He was soo pitiful it make my heart hurt for him. But I quickly realized what had happened. He hadn't been forgotten, or was bleeding from any wound. He was in the words dreaded by any child, TIME OUT. He continued to sit for another minute or so and then rejoined his family. Kenny and I had been there for a few hours already so I decided to pack up the stuff and head home. As we came up on the family with the little boy I saw the mother calmly pick up the boy, go back to the bench, where she then placed him down  gently before returning to her seat. More crying ensued....from the boy not the mother :). Any mother can relate to this kind of moment, and she did it with such grace and ease it was reassuring. But then I realized I had almost made the mistake that so many of us make when we see a cute little child crying. We do that pouty face and go " awww it's otay you poor wittle thing!!" and look at the mother and say something like " Somebody must be ready for a nap!" When in reality the child just drew blood by biting his brother. I can't tell you how many times I've been out somewhere and Kenny will start whining about something, like not getting the toy he wanted. Before I can begin to correct him here comes the woman behind us " Ooh isn't he soo precious! Aww what's the matter darlin? Looks like someones pretty sleepy!" to which I reply through smiling, clenched teeth " No ma'am he's just fussing for something." " Aww poor baby! Mommy didn't get you a toy?" THAT right there people is called butting into someone elses business. She just thought she was talking to a sad, sweet little boy and wanted to make him smile. I don't have a problem with that normally. All I'm asking for is people to be aware of the death look that Mommy's give their children. Because it's all about timing people, you see " The Look" and see the child throwing a fit, don't open you're mouth.  I understand that seeing that innocent little face all scrunched up in a pout just makes you want to conquer the world for that child just to see them smile. But if you don't know the reason why they're pouting, stay awaaay!! It's really none of your business anyways! And besides,you don't know if the mother is on the brink of insanity or not, because if you say something like this " Aww he is too cute to be cryin like that!" you could get this " YOU WANT HIM?" ( I actually said that before). I don't condone this behaviour and I  was in no way serious about pawning off my cranky child. But let's try and be more mindful of the fact that every cute little boy or girl we see crying may not need us, the stranger, to interfere for them.  Sometimes they just need a good minute or two on a quiet bench. Alone.


Ps. This is probably more of a pet peeve of mine then anything. But I know I can't be the only mother out there to be frustrated at the people that come up and try to solve your child's problem. I dont' care if they have good intentions. It's annoying. END RANT.

The Ladies Man

Even at the ripe old age of three my son has a way with the ladies. This isn't new but it's getting worse. I remember going into Chick-Fil-A when he had just turned two and watching him play on the playground. A group of little girls no older then 7 came in and in less then 5 minutes they were all enthusiastically chasing my son around the play area. Like any man, he was completely oblivious. The phrases " Aww he's so cute!" were uttered quite frequently and I just sat back and laughed. This happens everywhere we go. And everywhere we go Kenny is unfazed at the attention he brings. I watched a friend's little girl one day who was just a little bit over one. Sometimes Kenny is a little aggressive with girls but Chloe is different. If she's eating a snack he feeds it to her, goldfish by goldfish. If she drops something he is immediately there to pick it up for her. He takes her by the hand and leads her to his toys, carefully puts her in his car and pushes her around. He is the definition of a little gentleman around Chloe. And Chloe returns the affection by rubbing his back or playing with his hair. They literally act like an old married couple around each other. So when we were visiting her and her family the other day it shouldn't have been a surprise when she was gently patting him on the back and we saw her hand going lower and lower. Finally she cupped his butt and squeezed it ever so gently.  Let me remind you she's still not two yet. And she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. I mean, don't we all girls? She executed her plan flawlessly and her parents and I about fell over with laughter. Meanwhile, Kenny was of course oblivious and continued to arrange the magnets on the refrigerator as if nothing had happened. I'm going to be in trouble when he reaches puberty...unless he stays completely oblivious. One can only hope.....

The Translator Aka, Mommy.

I wish I was bilingual but I'm not. I can speak basic French if that. And by basic I mean " Bonjour" ,      "je m'appelle Sarah" and " Ou est le chocolat?"  but I do understand 2 languages. English and Kenny Boo. Let me paint a picture for you real quick. Lets say you're at the zoo with your good friend and their child who is around 2 or 3. You may be even extremely close to this child and spend a great deal of time molding and shaping them. Maybe you watched this child come into the world, changed their diapers and was there for his/her first steps. That means nothing when that child learns how to speak. Because when they come up to you and hold out their cute, chubby little hand with those big pleading eyes and say" Can I have some monkey cheese?" you really begin to wonder just how close to them you want to be. That's where the translator comes in, aka: Mommy. The translator automatically assumes that since you and the child are so close that you will naturally understand the sentences that flow from their mouth. So when you just heard " Can I have some monkey cheese?", and are standing there with a confused and somewhat disturbed look on your face, the translator finally realizes that help is needed and translates the sentence from " Can I have some monkey cheese?" to " Can I have some money please?". You realize then what an obvious sentence that was since you're standing in front of stand with balloons and gorilla hats.

Mommies everywhere are translators for a certain amount of time in their child's life. But sometimes even Mommies don't understand what their child is saying. Kenny says the most outrageous things to me sometimes and most of the time I can figure out from just a word or two in the entire sentence what he was trying to say. He once asked me very politely for some " potty cheese". Thankfully it hadn't been long since lunch where I had some cottage cheese, so I quickly put two and two together and realized what he was actually asking for. It's still a work in progress trying to get him to correctly pronounce cottage cheese! When he's taking a bath he likes to say he's a fish " swerming" in the water. His friend Samuel used to be called "Sermer" and when he wakes up from nap he likes to watch a " moobie".  That one is a little more obvious then some :). These are all things that I think nothing about when I hear them. But if we go out to eat and he asks someone for some " potty cheese" .....well...you get the picture :).

Road Rage at Any Age

As a parent, you begin to realize that you can no longer get away with saying something inappropriate while in the presence of your toddler. Because that child is not only a sponge soaking up and remembering everything you say, but they're like a parrot. They repeat it, over and over and over again. So while they're running around screaming " SHUTUP!" to no one in particular, you're banging your head against the wall as you try and salvage what little dignity as a parent you have left. This didn't happen to me, I'm just sayin. What DID happen to me was in the car one day. I wouldn't consider myself as having an extreme case of road rage, but I do get very frustrated and have been known to have a few choice words for someone who is either going to slow or riding my bumper. It's not like I want to kill them over it but yes, it does make me upset. So while driving down the road one day with Kenny in the back some idiot decided that going 50 mph on a 60 mph interstate was a good idea. I didn't curse at him, but I did growl and and make grunting noises in my frustration. " COME ON!! GRRR!" was as bad as it got I think. And then came the innocent little voice from the back: " Whatcha talkin bout Mommy?" Crap. I was caught. But before I could calmly explain a rational reason for my behavior this came out, " These people are in my way and they need to MOVE!" Well that was it. That was the moment I gave my three year old road rage. And from that moment on anytime we're in the car and something similar happens the parrot in the back starts up. " Everybody get outta the way! Just tell em Mommy. Go on Mommy like this... Get. Out. Of. Mommy's. WAY!" Ahh yes, I'm a fine leader to our future generation. You're welcome America.

Tenny Da Boo

People used to stop me on the streets after Kenny was just born to tell me what a cute baby I had. It's not much different today except he's three and even cuter. We were in line somewhere recently and a lady gushed about how cute he was. She then asked him what his name was and my son responded with " My name's Tenny. Tenny da Boo." She laughed, I laughed, and he just looked at us like we were out of our minds.  I couldn't quite figure out if he was trying to say his last name which sounds close to "boo" or if he was saying the nickname a friend of mine gave him, which is Kenny Boo. Who cares, it was the cutest thing that came out of his mouth that day.

I had to drop him off at his Daddy's house last week and I told him I was going to miss him soooo much and asked if he was going to miss me too. He said " Aww it's otay Mommy, I'll wait for you at Daddy's house. Then you come and I'll take care of you!" I keep thinking that there's no way he can get any sweeter. And each day he seems to prove me wrong. Well...most days :).

He is the best part of my day, and it never ceases to amaze me what comes out of that little mouth. I would say I have no idea where he gets it from but as it's said...the apple doesn't fall far from the tree :).
We were doing a puzzle today and I pretended to not know where the tiger went and he reached over and said " It goes right here sweetheart."  Glad I have a Tenny da Boo to take care of me. <3