Kenny's Dictionary, Volume 2

Enjoy...


Clippard, n. Afictional cartoon character adored by children everywhere. He is more widely known as Clifford the Big Red Dog.


Kangalow,  Kang-a-low, n. A sweet ,orange colored fruit that is often found in fruit salad. " Mommy, can I meease have some kangalow before I watch Clippard?"


Knife, n. A man in shining armor who comes to rescue the princess in trouble. " MOMMY! I WILL PROTECT YOU!! I AM A KNIFE!!"


Linestein, n. A Disney cartoon that features smart kids...or something like that. I actually have no idea since we don't ever watch it. But they have a red rocket ship and are supposed to be teaching kids something.


Nackim,  Nac-kim n. Something that is usually found at the dinner table to help clean ones hands, face, etc.. " Mommy, I made a mess. Can I mease have a nackim?"


Snow poke, n. A person who moves slowly, lags behind. " Come on Mommy, don't be a snow poke."


And remember, if you have problems pronouncing a word, Kenny will be more than happy to teach you the "proper" way to say it...


Mommy, let me teach you something. Say nac...


Me: Nac..


Him: Kim..


Me: Nackit.


Him: No Mommy. Try again. Nac...kim


Me: Nackim


Him: *Nods his head solemly*." That's right Mommy. Good.

To My Future Daughter In Law...

One Day..

You'll be the one he opens doors for, or rubs your feet after a long day.

He'll get you something to drink without you ever asking, or do the dishes for you because he likes to make you happy.

He'll tell you you're beautiful and that he likes your dress.

He'll bring you flowers just because. 

He'll give you kisses and hold you close.

He'll be holding your hand instead of mine.

He'll do this because he loves you, and because he's learned that a woman should be made to feel special.

So when that day comes, and he locks his fingers around yours and kisses your hand.....know that someone else came before you and taught him that.

You're welcome.

Kenny's Dictionary Volume 1 Pt 3

There are 5 new Kenny words that we all should be familiar with and they are as follows..

Aspiricus. Ah-spir-ikus n. A supernatural being, soul. Often used in the Bible.
Example: " I learned about the fruits of the aspiricus today like love, joy, peace and kindness!"

Cucom, Ku-com n.  Something that is often used in grocery stores. Example: " Mommy, can I take my cucoms to the store and buy something?" or " Did you see how much money I saved with my cucoms?!"

Lawmore, Law-mor n. A piece of machinery that is used in ones yard. Example: " Mommy, can I meease cut the grass with my lawmore?"

Sting,n. A material object. Any item that can be lost and Mommy be expected to find. Example: " Mommyyy!! I can't find my sting that you got me the other daay!"

Upstrated, adj. Disappointed, dissatisfied. Example: " I am feeling very upstrated that I can't find my sting."


And there you have it :).

Thanks for Pointing Out the Obvious...

I've never felt more like a single mother then tonight. I try to remember that people must have good intentions....most of them do anyways.The woman I see at Kenny's soccer practices, who is the mother of a little girl on his team, seems to be a constant reminder that I'm a single mother. It very rarely bothers me. I can go just about anywhere and it's never a problem. It's just life and you deal with it. But each and every week this woman reminds me that I'm single. I'm doing this alone. Alone,alone,ALONE. She's a very nice lady, and we chat about our kids playing soccer, and the usual 'are you from here?' 'Where do you work?' 'How was your week?' But then there are the slightly invasive questions like 'So do you get along with Kenny's father?' Or like tonight's ' Has it always just been you and Kenny?' I started feeling like I was being interrogated . I don't understand why she's so interested. But I really don't understand why it bothers me so much. I've been asked those questions before. It's the way she asks me and the fact that I was the only single parent there. I'm surrounded by moms in high waisted, faded jeans with a toddler on each arm, pushing a baby stroller while their husbands chat about this weekends golf tournament ( totally made that last part up but you get the idea) and it got to me. I stopped engaging in any type of conversation after she made the comment about how her sister was a single mom until her son was 8. Seriously? Because telling me this helps me how? Do people not realize what a slap in the face it is to say that to single parent? Obviously not. Because it felt like a stranger trying to give me pity,or reassure me somehow that I won't be alone forever. Well it certainly didn't help, it just made me more overwhelmed. I came home to a dirty house with dishes stacked up in the sink, bills in the mailbox, laundry ( at least it was folded) covering my living room floor, things that may never find a home, and all I want to do is crawl in bed and never come out. At least for a day. But there's always something. There's always a dirty house with piles of laundry everywhere. There's always unpaid bills lying around and dishes in the sink. But today it feels like I'm drowning in those dishes and bills. And that I'm doing it..wait for it...ALONE. But that's not true, because I know I'm surrounded by friends and family.But just for tonight I'm going to have a moment, and I'm going to pout for the next 30 minutes and then I'm going to move on.  Because my life is amazing, full of so many stories of how much I am loved, and how much God has blessed me. My son is a daily reminder of both <3.

Kenny's Convos....

After storytime Kenny looks at me and asks if we can snuggle on the couch some tonight. I personally could care less where we snuggle as long as he lets me snuggle! Then he looks at me all serious like and says, " Mommy, can we talk?"  Our conversation went something like this...

Points to the flowers on my table " Mommy, where'd you get those?"

" At Pier One."

"Oh.....where'd you get this blanket?"

" From a store. "

" How come you have a fire place?"

"It came with the house."

This continued on for a few minutes with him pointing at anything he could see and asking me where I got it from. It drives me nuts after about the 3rd thing. So I decided to turn it around on him.....

" Hey Kenny...where'd yah get that sweatshirt."

Looks down at his sweatshirt and very non chalantly replies" From my teacher at school" ( he doesn't go to school)

" Oh yeah? What's your teacher's name?"

" Dinaco. She's 5."

" Oh, so you have a 5 year old teacher named Dinaco at school?"

" Mmhm. She has a lizard named Dinaco too. And a snake."

" Interesting. Well is she a nice teacher?"

"Yup."

" Well what's your favorite thing about her?"

"Red."

*sigh*

Doctor Dramatic

My neighbor/ other mother/ friend/ kidsitter who my son knows as Granny(that was a mouthful!), made a good call today when she let me know my son went from being a semi movable blob to a complete unmovable, feverish blob. Turns out both his ears are infected,and his tonsils are practically touching. Poor baby, explains alot though. Like why he got up from bed 5 times in under an hour last night. Got the usual Amoxicillin from his doctor, and was on our somewhat merry way. Oh, but let's not forget the little speech I got about what to look for regarding Kenny's tonsils. Yes, they are inflamed but that's normal considering the circumstances. If they don't get better  then we have a problem. And while Kenny's doc means well, I've gotten to the point where I start to ignore half of the things that come out of his mouth. I thought I was dramatic, I certainly don't need my son's doctor to be too! Like the time Kenny and I went when he was about 2 1/2. The doc told me he wasn't growing and that he wanted me to pump him full of high calorie things like carnation instant breakfast ( which he hated) so Kenny would put on some weight. He then wanted to see him again in two months to check his progress and if he wasn't growing he wanted to check his liver. It sent me and Kenny's dad in a panic for about a day. I look back now and laugh. My child might be smaller then some, but he's got short parents. So whateverr. First thing the doc said when he saw Kenny today? " Oh wow! Look how tall he's getting!" I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't respond with " imagine that! " or "duh."
 So today I got the serious talk about Kenny's tonsils and "the signs I need to watch out for" which would indicate he might have sleep apnea or need to have his tonsils removed.  They are as follows: 1, snoring ( he's done since he was an infant). 2, restless sleeping ( what child DOESN'T roll all over the place at night?) and 3, sleepiness during the day ( which is why we take naps still).While I'm not ruling out sleep apnea considering Kenny's dad has it, I'm also not going to get my panties in a twist over someone who looked at my son's tonsils for a total of 2 seconds. I want to tell him sometimes to just calm down, I'll be on the look out for it but lets not jump the gun and start planning the kid's tonsil surgery or anything. Sheesh.

So we get home and I immediately pump the kid with his dosage of drugs for his ears. I tell my boss I'll be at work in the morning unless his fever comes back and was then gearing up for some major snuggling on the couch. Almost an hour later Kenny tells me he has lice all over his legs and is scratching them constantly. So what if the kid as an itch? I knew it wasn't lice! I'm slow apparently, and it took me another 30 minutes after that to realize that he was covered in hives. Even though he's had Amoxicillin before, it's apparently common to develop allergies to things you've previously taken. So it's back to Doctor Dramatic in the morning. I'm sure this time he'll tell me Kenny has a rare fungus all over his body, and his arms and legs will have to be amputated.

My Wittle Valentine...

Is currently in the other room coughing his little lungs out :(. Poor guy has been battling a cough for a few days now. And while I feel awful that he's having such a hard time I've been secretly enjoying all the extra snuggle time I've gotten. Especially in the morning,because I can never be certain which three year old I'm going to get at the crack of dawn...the cranky 3 yr old or the happy 3 yr old.  But he's been neither, just kind of like a blob....a coughing, snuggley blob . And since he's been coughing so much,we're working on how to properly cover ones mouth when doing so, as opposed to coughing directly in someones face...mainly Mommy's. Even though I've probably shared a disgusting amount of germs with him, I'm not a fan of being coughed on by someone 4 inches from my face. But then again...who would be? Soo anyways... Happy Valentines Day everybody! Ha.
Kenny doesn't quite grasp the concept of today's holiday, but he was quite pleased to receive a special card in the mail addressed to him from Gramma. And he was even more excited when he saw the coupon book  inside that card which is for " the fries place" ...aka McDonalds. Thanks Gramma :).
And I didn't get roses today but some cute,little bald headed child picked me a dandelion yesterday so I'm going to count that as my Valentines Day flower :)...and I even got a card that he made in church on Sunday!                                                        

 I put my coughing blob to bed tonight and gave him a kiss and told him " Happy Valentines Day baby"...and he hugged me and said " Happy Valentimes Day Mommy."  Couldn't have asked for a cuter, sweeter Valentime ;) <3










I would like to thank Granny for my delicous, heart shaped sugar cookies today and Murray who donated to my chocolate fund at work haha :). Thanks ladies! Hope everyone had a great day!                                                       

That Dreaded Little Word....

Known as LICE. It's been a 2 week nightmare of picking eggs out and washing everything in the house. But it wasn't my child that I found them on first. No, it was ME. I've never had lice my in entire life, but now I can tell you how many eggs an adult lice can lay a day, and the approximate life cycle of a lice. I can also tell you the difference between an egg and a nit. And now anytime my head itches I'm secretly panicking and wondering if I missed one and they're setting up a breeding ground on my head.

It started a couple of weeks ago when I noticed my head itching ...alot. I didn't think anything of it at first since I always have a dry scalp in the winter. Which is really just a nice way of saying I have dandruff. Now that I've shared THAT, lets continue. I decided to look in the mirror one Sunday night and I noticed my head was covered in what looked like little white eggs. But those little white things I saw were actually nits which are the white shells the lice leave behind when they hatch. Meaning, my entire head was covered with lice. I stared at the mirror in disbelief and immediately began to wonder if Kenny had them. He certainly should have them since he came and snuggled in my lice infested bed a couple of nights. But I had to wait till morning. That entire evening consisted of me tossing and turning and itching. I dreamt of lice. I scratched my head and dreamt of lice, all. night. long. When I woke up I looked Kenny's head over and sure enough, there they were. I shampooed both our heads and had a friend look through my hair to pick anything out. Almost SIX HOURS later, I was egg and nit free. And after 2 full days of cleaning and running up a sure to be enormous water and electric bill, I thought I had them under control. Until I found lice again on Kenny a week later. Mind you, I had been checking and grooming my child's head almost every night, squatting behind him and picking through his head like one of those gorilla's you see at the zoo.

But after a week of grooming night after night and then discovering more lice I gave up. I told his  father he needed to shave his head. I sent my baby, with his beautiful golden little head of hair to Daddy's Monday morning and he sent him back looking like a cancer patient....

Still cute? Absolutely. But I didn't ask for BALD. I said buzz cut not " I can see my reflection in my 3 year olds head" cut. Even his Sunday school teacher mentioned how he looks like a cancer patient..... along with my neighbor and her kids.Yes, he may not have lice now..... but he's BALD. But there's nothing I can do about it now. It'll grow back...and we're lice free..*scratches head*....



The good ole days with hair...

5 Things I Taught My Kid Today...

1. The proper ways in which to shoot spit balls from a straw. This didn't go so well at first since I accidentally shot him in the face and made him cry....thankfully I don't think anyone in in the packed restaurant noticed....

2. How to have the best evil laugh. I gave an example and made him laugh so hard he snorted. Best. Moment. Ever.

3. I, along with the help of the 1 millionth viewing of Toy Story 3, taught him the phrase " Holy moley guacamole!" Which comes out like " Rolly rolly rock and rolly!" Don't ask me how he changes it.

4. When one is hurt all it takes is some "smarshsmellows" to make it all better.

5. Mommy is a Princess. But when he found a crown at Cracker Barrel during lunch today he handed it to me and said " Here Mommy, try it on. Then you can be a Queen!" He's a fast learner that one.....


Here he is practicing his spit ball technique...

Why? Why? Why Mommy? Mom? Mom? Why?

Kenny may only be three but we've gone through many stages. Like the pacifier stage, potty training, throwing tantrums, wearing his Spiderman costume for a week straight. I consider all those stages. But the stage that may drive me to an early grave and the one I fear I might be stuck in for awhile is the "why?" stage. I'd rather deal with him peeing in his pants everday again then hear another "why?" come out of his mouth. I know that sounds horrible. I remember the days when I would lovingly look at him all bundled up in his crib, and think to myself " I can't wait till he can talk so I can teach him things!". And don't get me wrong, it's exciting seeing your child learn something new for the first time. But the " why?" stage is totally not like that. AT ALL. Let me give you an example. A long and repetitive example.

"Mommy, why are you taking down the Christmas lights?"

" Because Christmas is over baby."

" It's over?......why?"

" Because it only comes once a year, so it came, we celebrated it and it's over."

" It only comes once a year?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

" Because Jesus was only born once."

"Oh...............but why are you taking down the Christmas lights?"

" I just told you!!

" But why Mommy?"

GAAAH!!

 Everyday, ALL day. Sometimes it's worse then others. Sometimes I want to gouge my eyeballs out or go play in traffic. I've gotten to the point where I will just act like I didn't hear it. Especially if I've already answered the same question a bazillion times. It's not like I want him to think his question isn't important, but I think there comes a point where it stops being about wanting to know and more about the fact he knows I'll answer. Got that bit of advice from my Mom :). Whatever the reason, I'm not sure I'm going to make it. At the very least I might be declared clinically insane. I thought maybe if I took the time to explain it in detail ,but so a 3 year old would understand it, it would be better. That maybe the "whys" would stop. Nope, it only frustrated me more since I realized I just wasted my breath and time explaining something only to have to turn around and try to explain it again. But if all else fails I know I can always say " Because I said so!".  All my parents had to say was " Because you're so pretty!". It worked for awhile until I was on to their scheme. After all, I'm a Princess, and we're like totally smart and stuff.